“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times” (Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities).
“People are God’s method. The church is looking for better methods. God is looking for better people” (E.M. Bounds, The Power of Prayer).
“Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty.” (Isaiah 6:5).
My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart
you, God, will not despise (Psalm 51:17)
Part 3: Contrition
“Sorry!” shot out the little boy. Jeff was 5 years old. He had acted cruelly toward a playmate and his mother was trying to get him to apologize. He said the right word, but his body language and the tone he used communicated the opposite. He may have been angry and embarrassed, but there is a difference between a forced confession and being truly contrite.
The awe-struck prophet Isaiah who saw the exalted Lord of the universe, on the other hand, came face to face with himself. And in the presence of the One the angels declared to be “Holy, Holy, Holy,” he cries out in absolute terror, “Woe to me, I am ruined!” He was not just “sorry,” for a misdeed, he was horrified at his and his people’s wretchedness in the light of God’s countenance.
After I first viewed the IMAX film about the Hubble space telescope at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, I came out of the theater with something approaching Isaiah’s sense of himself. Seeing a black square of space become gradually points of light as the Hubble focused on it was astounding enough. “Look at all the stars!” I thought. But my astonishment leaped even further as the “stars” turned out to be galaxies! As I emerged, in awe from the experience, I felt ashamed of how little my “worship” times in church reflect an understanding of the immensity and cosmic power of our holy God compared with our minuscule little selfish selves.
I asked in my last reflection, “Where is our sense of ‘awe’ at the awesome person who is the source of everything?” That, in turn, leads me to ask, “How long has it been since I truly understood the depth of my own depravity and the depravity of my culture in that light?” I cannot truly engage in God’s mission in this generation without it. One commentator puts it this way, “It is foolish for us to think that we can somehow serve God until we have come to the end of ourselves.”
Why does Isaiah focus on his “unclean lips” and not his heart? John Oswalt in his commentary gives two reasons: 1) Lips evidence what is really in our hearts and 2) Isaiah has just heard what has come from the lips of the Seraphim and compares their cry with what comes from his own lips. Our Lord Jesus reminds us that out of our mouths comes what is truly in our hearts.
I live among people who seem to be losing their sense of civility altogether and don’t seem to care what comes out of their mouths. A woman cursed me out the other day because I failed to see her as I was backing out of a parking spot. I apologized profusely, and she was obviously unhurt, but that didn’t keep her from pouring out her vitriol at me. Her rage shook me. I didn’t think I deserved it. However, I wondered about my own words aimed at those who have simply inconvenienced me. My lips are often as unclean as hers in the light of our all-knowing holy God.
People who engage with God in his mission are contrite, broken people. Habits such as journaling, centering prayer, holy reading of Scripture and the prayer of examen, will often reveal to us our sin, as well as listening to those closest to us. Let us allow the Holy One to reveal to us our wicked ways, break us that we may be remade and outfitted for the His mission in our world!
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